Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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