i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
