I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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