That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
