did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
