drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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