I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Nicole vs. Life
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize