i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
