ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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