Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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