i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
