let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
