Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
