I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
