butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
