nutella sex= disaster
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
