i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
