we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
how drunk are you?
Several
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
