I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Michael Bay diarrhea
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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