dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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