So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
