hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
