In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
