I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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