Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
