And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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