pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
