Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
A bitchslap is in order.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize