normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
