It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I wish there were birth control emojis
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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