Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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