so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
