The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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