Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
