Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
