just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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