I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
