Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
