my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
