Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
