Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
