Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
