The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
