Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
