Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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