I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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