I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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