then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
