I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize