even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
