I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
