Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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