Non-Jews are for practice
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
