I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
