I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
