I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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