and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You took a bar mat shot.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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