no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
