Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
