Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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