i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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