he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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