I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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