She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
two words...techno handjob
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
God, I missed his penis.
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