we have officially lost it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
