The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
