I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize