@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
