Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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