so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
