Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
