I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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