Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
