let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
