Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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