butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
