My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
