Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
