fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
