im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
