I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
