halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
